It’s weird how much you can change in a year. I was recently reminded of this when my phone auto-generated a “Summer 2021” slideshow consisting mostly of selfies I’d taken set to somehow simultaneously grating and uplifting banjo music. Besides being forced to relive the choppy curtain bangs I cut myself, I was also reminded of how I felt so anxious that summer.
Around this time, I was well into my post-grad life and the excitement of a future with endless possibilities had more or less flitted away with each job rejection I received or email I sent with no reply. I was feeling really stuck, and I didn’t know what my next step should be.
Then along came PATTERN…
After being referred to their team, I was offered the opportunity to join PATTERN as their Graphic Design Fellow. While I was incredibly grateful for the offer, I was also terrified.
I was scared of the responsibility of being the organization’s in-house designer; I was scared of driving downtown each week (admittedly, I’d only gotten my license a year before); and I was scared of not being as cool or stylish as my coworkers. But most of all, I was just scared of trying something new. I know these are a bit melodramatic and naive, but it’s my diary, ok!
Despite my fears, I challenged myself to say yes and to take on the unknown. And each day, I did just that.
Drive to a new location downtown? Yes! (Will I practice the route the day before? Of course!)
Attend an event hosted by PATTERN where you don’t know most of the people there? Yes! Go to a random warehouse to pick up some magazines? Sure, let’s do it!
Help plan a digital cover shoot? Hell yeah!
Each time, saying yes got a little less difficult. And now, a year later, I’m so grateful I challenged myself to do it.
By simply agreeing to new opportunities at PATTERN, I worked on things I never could have dreamed of. I interviewed one of my favorite designers, I worked with an incredibly talented team of photographers and writers to design digital covers each month, and helped put together two beautiful print magazines, among other daily projects.
Ultimately, though, taking steps out of my comfort zone was possible because of the constant support I received from PATTERN’s incredible team. I’m thankful for the friends I made who made facing challenges fearlessly so much easier.
With my fellowship now over, in some ways I’m back where I was a year ago—about to enter another period of transition. However, this time I’m less scared of not knowing what’s next and ready to say yes to something new. …Oh! And no more choppy curtain bangs this time around, thank god.
Carrie!! We’re going to miss you so!!