Growing up, I had a lot of health issues. I spent my days down corridors of white walls and with the smell of antiseptic sinking into my pores. It hadn’t always been that way, though. Up until the age of seven, I had more friends than you could count due to all of the activities I was involved in: a travel soccer team, a modeling and acting agency, art clubs and church camps. I was confident, going up to strangers just to talk—which was a safety concern for my parents—but I loved meeting new people. I was thriving.
That’s when one of my first distinct memories pops up: It was my first day back to school for the year when on the ride there, I started screaming–something was very wrong. I went through more tests than you can count, but the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me for quite some time. I tried to stay in school, but it became increasingly difficult to engage in activities when I was in so much pain. In the blink of an eye, I lost everything I was involved in, I lost my friends because they didn’t understand what was happening, and hospitals became my home. With the exception of my parents, I was alone. And as a kid who had been so social, it was devastating.
Enter my next distinct memory: One day, my mom let me borrow her Canon camera. I began taking it everywhere with me. Since she first gave me her camera, I’ve amassed many other illnesses but photography has been my escape from all of them; I’ve not gone a day where I wasn’t doing something related to photography since I was eight years old.
My love for photography has taken me many places in life. For five years, I lived in Chicago attending Columbia College Chicago studying fashion photography and journalism. I just graduated in May, and that’s when my most recent distinct memory comes into play: when PATTERN entered the picture. I didn’t know if I’d get the internship or not, but I was beyond thrilled getting the congrats email a few days after my interview. And so began one of the best summers of my life. As the internship came to a close, I felt like my time at PATTERN wasn’t done yet—there was still so much more I wanted to do. I was lucky enough to have this wish granted, and I joined the rest of the new interns for my second time around this fall.
As a senior photography intern, I’ve shot more test shoots than I can count where I worked with stylists and assistant photographers, helped with four editorials and shot two myself, and was given the opportunity to write for PATTERN as well. One of my highlights this fall was shining light on an organization, ArtMix, that provides art opportunities to those with health issues or disabilities. It was an important story to tell and I’m so grateful PATTERN allowed me to write the story and capture the photos for it myself.
As my time comes to an end at PATTERN, there’s still more I want to do. I want to do more test shoots, I have ideas for two more editorials, I want to continue to write for the magazine, I want to help with the next print issue…and if I was allowed to stay longer, I would. I’d say yes in a heartbeat. Honestly, I don’t know what’s next. When I wrote my intern diary for the summer, I talked about how I was leaving with love and hope in my heart and ready to take on the world. I still stand by that, and am hoping the future becomes clearer to me with time.
We all have those memories in our lives that stick out to us, that we remember no matter how much time has passed. I can say with absolute certainty that my time at PATTERN will always be with me. I’ve forged so many friendships and accomplished more than my 8-year-old self could ever dream of during my time here in the last few months. I know I will always look back fondly at my time at PATTERN, and can only hope my future employers are as kind, driven, and talented as the staff and fellows. I consider myself pretty lucky in life, and I think my time at PATTERN shows that. To everyone I’ve interacted with while here, thank you. You are a distinct memory for me. Always.
