I believe my exact words when I received the PATTERN internship acceptance email were, “No f*cking way.”
I’m a dreamer. I like to imagine all the cool situations I could get myself into—one day I’ll go to college, one day I’ll be on student council, one day I’ll lead a committee, one day I’ll work for PATTERN. I daydream about how cool it would be. And then I try for them, keeping my expectations on the ground floor.
I enrolled in college. I’m serving on the student council. I led a housing committee over at my university, and none of those crashed and burned (yet). So with a why-not attitude, I sent in my application to be a graphic design intern at PATTERN, a magazine I had first Googled with starry eyes at seventeen.
You can only tell yourself you tripped and stumbled into opportunities so many times before you realize that you might just be walking. What started out as nervousness dissolved into confidence as, week after week, I got feedback and support from an office full of incredible creatives who trusted me and liked what I could do. PATTERN made me look down and realize I was taking full steps on my own.
Not to say I was left out to dry—every morning, we got check-ins with Jenny and the state of things at the magazine (hectic, enthusiastic, wonderfully busy). PATTERN’s graphic design fellow Leah was my go-to for feedback. Always willing to offer constructive critiques with resources when I asked for help.
I got to work with other interns. I got to work with more experienced designers. I got a taste of that professional client-designer interaction, with the extra treat of being allowed—encouraged even—to maintain much of my own creative style. Any time I felt slow or uninspired, there was always space to make or do my own thing. That’s something I know is special, especially as a graphic designer since we’re almost always expected to melt into the endless brand guides.
That’s good work, too—stretching your limits, going out of your comfort zone. The PATTERN visual style took a bit of adjusting to, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. In fact, I took so much away from it that I feel my personal style has adjusted as well. Not just with my design, but with personal relations. I’m a self-confessed basement goblin, an introvert who’s most comfortable with their headphones on, head down, and ideally no disruptions.
The thing about comfort zones is that they need to be pushed. Working twice a week in a wide-open office around a table of other interns left no room for my bubble, and it was a good kind of struggle. I made connections I wouldn’t have otherwise made, refined my people skills, and altogether crawled out of my basement-goblin dwelling much more than usual. I was met with new perspectives and considerations and had to solve problems in unique ways.
Sometimes, I trudged out of the office with heavy feet and an ache to meet my bed. Sometimes, I wandered down the stairs, laughing with my fellow interns about parking (on our self-dubbed Intern Street). Either way, I made it out at the end of each day at PATTEN with a brand new lesson simmering inside my head.
