Sales at Saint Laurent have more than doubled since Hedi Slimane’s arrival at the house three years ago and given that I’ve not been a fan of most of his collections for the house I’m trying to figure out just how that is possible. What am I missing? Consider this autumn/winter collection. I’m trying to think of who might purchase these pieces. Here’s what I’ve come up with so far:
- A 14-year-old who has borrowed/stolen her parents’ credit card and is trying really hard to get their attention. This should do it.
- Anyone who already has a large collection of torn fishnet stockings. They’re half-way to this look already.
- Fans of the movie Black Swan or anyone who enjoys wearing excessively heavy black eye makeup.
- People with slim legs who want to show them off. With hemlines this high, wide hips and thick thighs are not going to look good.
- People who like bows … really, really, really large bows. With sequins.
- Someone who doesn’t have to be at work at 8:00 in the morning. This is a collection for going out and having fun. No daywear. None. Hangovers are probably inevitable.
- Those who like crinoline and/or leather. There is plenty of both, sometimes within the same ensemble.
- Millenials who were teens in the 90s but their parents wouldn’t let them out of the house “looking like that.”
Hedi’s really not reaching too terribly far back for this punk-inspired collection that, let’s be honest, is 100 percent party wear. He’s updated them a bit with new cutouts, slashed leather, and alternating patterns within the same piece. Oh yeah, there’s also a technicolor fur that looks very much like a walking Pride parade float.
Slimane tends to veer toward the glittery side of things, which will look great under the lights of a dance floor. What one will need to watch are the particular cuts. He doesn’t shy away from the fact that one particular one-shoulder dress leaves the left breast completely bare. Note: we’re not talking about sheer fabric; this is going to leave you completely exposed. One may need to wear a jacket between the car and the club, and choose the club very carefully. Other asymmetrical cuts on hemlines are offset so as to go from short to even shorter. One will need to be very careful when bending over.
Not trusting my aged and male opinion, I asked multiple millennial-age young women what they thought of the collection. They loved it. They were also deprived as teens.
This is a collection that screams “look at me.” A smart therapist would find a way to include coupons for half off the first session for anyone who feels the needs to actually go out looking like this. There’s a fortune to be made here, and that’s exactly what keeps Hedi Slimane employed.