Tom Ford = sexy. There, I said it right up front so that we wouldn’t be trying to find euphemisms for it. We would be very disappointed if the designer came out with a line that wasn’t so steamy everyone left the show perspiring. In that regard, this spring/summer 2014 collection certainly doesn’t disappoint.

The challenge here is that in being so incredibly sexy, Ford makes most of his clothes inappropriate for normal, every day situations. Sure, there are a couple of very nice black, belted suits, one double breasted, the other more flowing silk, but every other piece of this collection is just too sexy for anything that might happen before 8 pm.

And if one lives in the Midwest, it might not happen at all.

Take, for example, the first piece Ford sent down the runway. A brown leather jacket with padded, rounded shoulders, and short skirt. First of all, you wear this thing any time after mid-April and you’re going to melt inside it if you live in the South or Midwest. More importantly, though, it brings with it an “Bring it on, little boy” attitude that probably isn’t going to play well in the majority of corporate offices.

Then, there’s the black leather mesh tank that molds itself to the body. Think wet t-shirt contest without any water. Pair that with a micro-mini black/white lattice skirt and you might need a revolver in that clutch to make sure the little boys behave. A shimmery pailletted miscosheath hugs the body so tightly one might think of it as second skin.

Ford’s line rarely steps away from that body contoured silhouette. The line takes a turn toward Hollywood with mirrored sheaths and spider webbed sheers, all looking very dramatic as though constructed for some futuristic super heroine. Whomever wears one of these pieces is not only going to turn heads, but quite possibly cause a few accidents.

There’s nothing in this collection that doesn’t make one salivate with excitement. You’re going to want to buy the whole line, even if doing so means years of debt. But in the end one is still faced with the question: Where are you going to wear that?

Don’t worry, you’ll think of something.

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